Saturday, January 24, 2015

Surprise Saturday - Settling & Relationships (or lack thereof...)

I'm gonna drop some knowledge here and say that it really is true - if someone wants you in your life then they will behave like they really do. If someone truly cares about you, (in any manner really, as a friend or more so) they'll show it so much you will never have to question it. Never accept less than you deserve because you just want "someone." Don't be afraid to be alone or lose someone in your life that isn't really bringing much value to it anyway. Don't be afraid to be alone. The time that I've spent being single has been the most eye-opening and self-discovering of my life and I wouldn't really trade any of my experiences for anything. The good, the bad, the ugly. 

[Also, I'm speaking in very general terms here though, I've never been the type of girl to have a huge group of friends - to me it is more about quality than quantity when it comes to all the relationships in my life. I like to have a few good friends that I truly connect with and care about than a bunch of friends that hardly know me and vice versa. I'm talking about anyone in your life who doesn't treat you the way you think you should be treated - just let them go. You don't need someone in your life who doesn't need you in theirs.] 

There will be people in  your life that you like for more than they like you - and that's okay. It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you if someone doesn't like you back, it just means that there's a reason you aren't meant to be together in any way. This is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. There have been so many people in my life that I cared for more than they cared for me, that I had to wonder - why? How can I miss the mark so much and like someone that doesn't feel the same? How could I have been so wrong? Eventually I just cut myself off from having feelings for people at all. I looked at everyone objectively and convinced myself not to care so that if someone took off I wouldn't be surprised. It took me a really long time to finally understand that some things just aren't meant to happen. I grew to learn to be happy finding a situation just wasn't going to work out - I mean I'd rather know earlier than later to prevent time wasted on both ends. 

Everyone is looking for something different - there are people out there who want nothing more than the most serious of relationships, and then there are people out there who want the most casual of relationships. You have to remember, everyone's experiences are different and that leads them to want different things from their relationships. There will be someone out there who wants the same things out of a relationship that you do. BUT, that's not to say you'll find your perfect person and everything's going to be hunky dory. Relationships of any kind consist of compromise, but when you find the right person you are willing to work through the problems and difficulties because you know the good outweighs the bad. 

It's been a long journey for me and seeing people (hell, even my own self) put themselves through horrible treatment just to have someone, anyone really, taught me to just wait. To me, it seems more logical to wait for the right person to come along than to put up with something I know I don't really want just to have someone there. Now I'm of course, by no means an expert in relationships. I just know how I feel and that I'd prefer to be as happy as I can in my life and I can say I truly enjoy being single. I love having time to hang out with my friends, to work on my blog and writing, to learn about my camera and get into photography, to read the books I want to, to spend time with my mom...the list goes on. I'm sure one day I will also be able to say I'm truly happy in a relationship as well...but, that day hasn't come just yet. :)

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